


The Fog, the Sea and the Flute

by megyal



Category: Naruto
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-08-03
Updated: 2009-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megyal/pseuds/megyal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It appears that the great Hatake Kakashi has fallen in battle, far from home. Iruka find it hard to deal with this... especially since he keeps dreaming about Kakashi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fog, the Sea and the Flute

**Author's Note:**

> Entry for [](http://community.livejournal.com/naruyaoi_fest/profile)[](http://community.livejournal.com/naruyaoi_fest/)**naruyaoi_fest**, for the first prompt: _Though lovers be lost love shall not._-Dylan Thomas

Iruka was always intrigued and dismayed to watch Kakashi pack for a mission; the Copynin would discard the lanky carelessness that usually painted his movements, and became brisk, almost business-like. Iruka sat in the middle of their futon, legs crossed, his head propped against one fist as he pretended to mark papers – all the while watching Kakashi out of the corner of his eye.

Kakashi's long pale fingers slipped kunai and shuriken into the hardy brown pack with extra pairs of fingerless gloves and tightly folded clothing, plus flat packages of tasteless rations; scrolls and needles were placed into the pockets of his flak-jacket. It was obvious that he had already begun the mission in his mind, because his eye was calmly distant as he glanced over at Iruka every now and again.

Usually, Kakashi would say something like, "If something happens to me, Iruka, make sure you find someone else and move on." Iruka was waiting for this, so that they could have a good laugh together; but for some reason, Kakashi was very quiet this time around. His silence, even as he moved from one end of the room to the other, was unnerving to Iruka. An unsettled feeling like nervous butterflies began to quiver in his stomach.

"What time are you leaving?" Iruka finally looked directly at Kakashi as he placed his ready pack in a corner of the room and crawled onto the futon, leaning against the wall.

"Early." Kakashi turned to the window and stared at the half-formed moon.

"I see." Iruka left him to his thoughts; if Kakashi was in a withdrawn mood, Iruka wasn't going to shake him out of--

He blinked as the end of his _shakuhachi_ was waggled right underneath his nose. He took the bamboo flute and gave Kakashi a surprised, questioning look.

"Play something for me." Kakashi didn't appear to be smiling, but his visible eye was now gently focused on Iruka, who revelled in the sudden attention. Even so, the troubled sensation (nervous _suspicious_ butterflies) grew inside him.

"Where will you be going?" he blurted out and Kakashi's soft expression melted into one of rebuke.

"You know I'm not supposed to tell you that."

Iruka flushed, embarrassed at his own blunder. "Forgive me," he mumbled, frowning down on where he placed his fingers on the flute. He should have known better, he chided himself, and continued fumbling with the instrument.

He'd been playing the _shakuhachi_ for a fairly long time; when he was a child, a _komusō_ had spent some time at his house, on his father's invitation. This 'emptiness monk', travelling where the wind blew him, had played the flute during meditation. Iruka had been entranced; there was a haunting quality in the sound, a lonely call that pulled at mind and heart. He had slunk around the house as much as possible, listening keenly, until the monk had beckoned close and played something so heart-wrenchingly beautiful, that tears had stood in Iruka's wide eyes.

Iruka had awoken one morning to find the monk gone, and a flute nearby his head.

Iruka didn't consider himself a particularly good player, and that was probably the reason he liked playing it so much. In addition to that, the act of playing and the music itself was quite calming, especially whenever he came home after a long day of pouting children to face a pouting Kakashi, with a pack of pouting ninken.

Now Iruka tried to relax and find that quiet space in his head, so that the notes could find their way from his heart to the outside world. It was a voyage he could picture; he imagined the notes floating up from their quiet rest to bloom against a listener's ears. He took a deep breath and blew steadily across the top of his flute.

The voice of the instrument was full and strong and woody, as if the bamboo itself was telling secrets of where it had been grown. A tilt of a finger over a hole could bend the sound of a note, making it warble and weave through the still air. Kakashi returned his face to gaze out of the moon as Iruka let one of the simpler songs slip past his fingers.

"Demon Country," Kakashi offered when the last note faded out of the air. Iruka stared at him and Kakashi's mouth twitched into a small smile underneath his mask, crinkling the material. "It's an undercover mission with officials of their most important temple. I may be gone for a very long time."

"Oh. Thank you for sharing that with me."

Kakashi's gaze continued to weigh on Iruka as the chuunin rose from the futon and went to snap off the lamp, placing his flute carefully inside a drawer of the bedside table. Then he returned to the bed and knelt between Kakashi's legs. He pulled down the mask slowly and admired the play of the moonlight on that pale skin, the sharp nose and thin lips.

Kakashi wasn't as devilishly handsome as most people liked to believe. He was interesting to look at, with those mismatched eyes and long vertical scar, which lent character to his face instead of disfiguring it. _Not astoundingly striking, but intriguing_, Iruka decided smugly as he leaned forward to kiss him, lips moving almost possessively against Kakashi's. _And he's all mine._

"What are you thinking about?" Kakashi murmured just as Iruka licked his bottom lip. Iruka ducked down to bite gently at the juncture of neck and shoulder, skin warm against his attentive mouth.

"Um... you." Iruka placed his hands on top of Kakashi's thighs, enjoying the movement of the muscles as Kakashi shifted his legs twitchily; Kakashi found it hard to stay still when he was off-duty. Iruka thought that because Kakashi had to be so motionless sometimes on missions, he had to work out his natural restlessness in some way or the other when at home. This partly explained why he liked to walk while reading Icha-Icha. Crazy, but there was really no such thing as a sane jounin.

"Of course." Kakashi's hands were warm on his waist, thumbs massaging the rise and fall of Iruka's hip-bones. "If you were thinking about someone else, I would have to find that person and kill them."

"That's so terrible, Kakashi." Iruka wormed his way down Kakashi's body and pressed his palm against the warm hard bulge of Kakashi's erection, smiling as Kakashi raised his hips slightly in invitation. "And unfair. Shouldn't you kill me for thinking about someone else?"

"I would never do that to you."

Iruka went still at that; not the _words_, that was something Kakashi said all the time, as if he was always aware of the disparity in their skills; maybe Kakashi thought he would snap Iruka's neck as they both slept or something to that effect. Sometimes it annoyed Iruka, as if he was someone completely unable to defend himself (well, maybe not for too long against the Copy-nin. Maybe.), but there were moments where he found it endearing. That phrase, _I would never do that to you_, was like a constant promise to Iruka, and possibly a reminder to Kakashi of what he would lose if he ever broke this promise.

Not that Iruka was particularly special; sometimes he really didn't know what Kakashi saw in him. But now, as Kakashi repeated this oft-said phrase, he spoke with a particularly reverent tone. Iruka stared up at him, watching as that singular eye scanned over his face as if it was trying to be like its red-and-black twin, and record all that it saw.

"Oh," Iruka said awkwardly, confused and pleased at the same time. Kakashi lost that intent expression and smirked down at Iruka's flushed face. Iruka glared up at him and as revenge, began to undo the placket of Kakashi's pants. He kept his gaze locked on Kakashi's as he carefully pulled out his erect cock and licked around the underside of the crown before slipping his mouth over the head. Kakashi moaned, lips parted as he watched Iruka go down as far as he could and come back up so slowly, keeping the suction constant. He flicked his tongue around Kakashi's cock as he went down again, one hand encircling the base while the other fondled the lightly furred balls.

"Nnnggh," Kakashi said quite incoherently as Iruka licked and sucked happily. He made a shocked sound of complaint when Kakashi reached down and pulled him up, wrapping his arms around Iruka as they writhed against each other.

"Fuck me," Kakashi said into Iruka's ear. He smirked as Iruka pulled back to stare incredulously at him. "What, sensei? You don't want that?"

"I'm being practical," Iruka countered even as he began to pull off Kakashi's clothes, almost frantically. "Won't you be... uncomfortable tomorrow? When you're going on your mission, I mean."

"Ah, well, that just means I'll feel you with every step." Kakashi was grinning outright. Iruka latched onto him and kissed him so hard, the both of them ended up absolutely breathless.

*

"Iruka-sensei."

Iruka looked up from where he was staring down at a half-graded pile of essays from the higher level students ('Concepts of Mercy during Battle' had been the topic; they were interestingly varied in the responses) and smiled tiredly at Yamato. His brain struggled to come up with the name he always heard Kakashi use for this man, this calm and responsible _kohai_ to Kakashi's mischievous and mysterious _senpai_, but he was too tired. Was it Taro? Teijo? His mind balked at these and Iruka stopped trying to reach for the elusive information; it would come to him soon.

"Yamato-san." Iruka gave him a small smile, but instead of an answering smile, Yamato's face remained carefully blank.

"Tsunade-sama asked to see you," Yamato told him, and now Iruka noticed the tightness at the corners of his eyes.

Iruka found that he couldn't breathe for a moment. "It's Kakashi, isn't it?" he blurted. He fought grimly with that part of himself that was dissolving into a miserable mess of emotions, reigning himself in. He was a shinobi of Konoha; he had to be strong.

Yamato nodded slowly, and studied Iruka's face very carefully. "Kakashi-senpai always said you were stronger than you seemed," he remarked in a low murmur. "But do you think you can handle seeing him? You don't have to, but it might be good for... closure."

"Is the body here?" Iruka asked instead of replying. His heart raced at Yamato's nod. "Is it..."

"It's... in pieces," Yamato told him and underneath the table, Iruka's fingers curled into his left kneecap. "He had been ambushed at the temple he was protecting, in Demon Country. The cult that attacked left his body in that state so that we would know their 'powerful heart of darkness'." Yamato looked out the window, his lips pressed tightly together. "That's the message they sent with one of the high priests of the temple. He's the one that brought the body to Konoha."

_How strange_, Iruka thought distantly. _Once there was a man, a living, thinking, caring human being and now... he's just 'the body'_.

"Are you ready?" Yamato asked, as if they were going on a mission instead of to the morgue to let Iruka come face to face with the reality of his destroyed lover.

"Yes." Iruka pushed away from his desk and followed Yamato outside, blinking at the brightness of the late afternoon sun. He was surprised when Yamato made a few quick seals, placed a hand on his elbow and muttered under his breath. Iruka braced himself for the swift pull of a transportation jutsu and was surprised when everything went dark. They must have travelled underground all the way to the morgue, because Iruka found himself emerging right out of the floor in the morgue, in front of a door marked AUTOPSY ROOM 3. There were three names beside these words, but Iruka only noticed that the floor in the morgue had not been disturbed by their movements.

"Thank you," he told Yamato who nodded politely. "Was that... an earth-transportation jutsu?"

"Yes. I thought it would have been better for you not to walk all this way."

"You could have just brought us here in a regular jutsu, like Kaka--" Iruka broke off, staring at Yamato's composed face. His eyes, though, were beginning to show some strain.

"I'm more used to the earth," Yamato answered quietly and he placed his hand on the surface of the door. "We should go in."

Inside the room was cool and pale. The Hogake and her assistant were standing next to a gurney covered with dark material. Another individual was in the room, standing in the far corner. This stranger was obviously the Demon Country priest who had brought Kakashi back. He was very tall, wearing a long robe over loose pants, a wide-brimmed hat with a dark veil hanging over the edge of it to shield his face. Iruka noticed that his face was still fairly visible behind the veil; large dark eyes over a crooked nose and a slightly pointed chin.

"Iruka," Tsunade called and Iruka stepped over to her. She gave him a long look, her own eyes sad, before indicating briefly to the stranger. "This is Kado from the Demon Country. He had been paired with Kakashi on the mission to protect their main temple."

"Kado-san," Iruka greeted respectfully and Kado nodded, moving his hands from where they had been folded in his long sleeves and pressing them together in a prayerful greeting. Iruka noticed that his hands were slender and pale.

Iruka breathed and looked at the gurney; one part of the black material had slipped to one side to reveal a left arm. He knew those three freckles near the elbow, the swirl of the ANBU tattoo and the scar at the wrist. The fingers of the hand were stained with blood, dried red-brown. The black covering slipped just a little more, and Iruka saw the bare curve of one shoulder and the mess of silver-white hair; he could also spot the beginning of a jagged line which separated the head from the neck.

Iruka closed his eyes briefly and Shizune adjusted the material to cover the body completely once more.

"A demon controlled by the attackers killed him," Kado said, his voice gravelly and low. "He fought bravely and saved the lives of many priests. Unfortunately, there were more of them than we had anticipated. Our temple was destroyed and the priests scattered. But the last of our treasure is safe among us, for now. When our enemies regain their strength and numbers, they will hunt for me and my scattered brethren once more, until they locate what they want."

Iruka nodded, hardly hearing a word this priest was saying. Kakashi had been killed by demons? It seemed so surreal.

He fixed his attention on the arm again, so still and pale, and felt the room spin.

"Iruka," Tsunade called sharply and Iruka raised his chin to meet her golden gaze. _Be strong_, her expression urged, even as she said, "do you need time off from the Academy?"

"I will carry out my duties to the best of my ability, Hokage-sama," Iruka said, even though the firm tone he was striving for crackled in his throat. "It's my way of the ninja... to carry on."

Tsunade's smile was faint and twisted, but she simply nodded.

"You are dismissed, Iruka and Yamato. Kado, Shizune will show you to your quarters."

The priest was receiving asylum, Iruka realized, and his temper rose; how _dare_ this priest get protection from Konoha while Kakashi lay dead. He felt hate and loss build up in him, crash against the back of his eyes and throat. Kado looked at him closely, but Iruka turned his face away.

"Kado-san, thank you for bringing him home," he said roughly, and walked out of the morgue.

*

"That was a lovely memorial," Kakashi said mildly in Iruka's dream as they floated in the boat together. A mist lay heavy around them, as visually impenetrable as any stone wall; yet, it moved past their position like a silken grey wave. "A lot of people said very nice things."

Iruka smiled at him. "Why wouldn't they say nice things?" They were sitting side-by-side, the boat rocking quietly. From the sharp salty smell, he could tell that they were at sea, but how far out he wasn't able to ascertain; all he could see was the fog and the water. "It's a memorial. You're supposed to say nice things, even for perverted Copy-nins."

"Hmph. _You_ didn't say nice things."

"I said everything with my heart."

"Do you miss me?"

"Of course I do. I can barely get through the days without you." Iruka looked down and blinked at his shakuhachi balanced across his lap.

"You should play that more," Kakashi remarked, looking out into the mist. "When I hear that, I think of you."

"Do you?"

Kakashi turned to give him a withering look, tempered by the laughter coming from under his mask. "Of course I do."

*

"My apologies," the priest Kado said when Iruka opened the door of his apartment to the gentle knocking. "I heard your flute and... you're very good."

Iruka looked up at him, lips tightening. He knew it was irrational, but every time he saw Kado wandering around Konoha, he felt angry. It was understandable, though; it had just been three months since... Kado had arrived to be protected by their Hidden Village.

He forced a thin smile. "Thank you, Kado-san."

"I wonder if I might be allowed a moment of your time?" Kado was already slipping in the door and removing his shoes. Iruka stared at him in disbelief and then walked back to where he had been seated on some worn cushions, practicing his music.

Kado removed his hat with the ever-present veil; his short dark hair was ruffled, and when he sat down in front of Iruka, he placed his hat in his lap and stared at Iruka unblinkingly. Iruka breathed deeply a few times and went back to his slow, meditative song.

His gaze flickered to Kado a few times; the priest had lowered his head and seemed to be meditating. Even after a few minutes after Iruka had finished the tune, the priest sat unmoving.

"That song reminds me of my childhood, living in the temple," Kado said quietly, so much so that he seemed to be speaking to himself. "Everyone was at peace with their neighbour. There were no demons to threaten our valuable treasure. We were in balance with everything."

He raised his head and his gaze was sad as he considered Iruka. "You play well, Iruka-sensei, but you are not in balance. You've lost someone precious to you, and for that I am very sorry."

Iruka bit the inside of his lip and didn't answer.

Kado fumbled at his high collar and pulled out a long, rough cord from under his robe. An innocuously flat jade-stone was affixed to the end. Iruka stared at it, entranced. It hummed with energy, thrumming softly in Kado's palm.

"This is just a small part of the Spirit Jade. Even at this size, it is a very powerful artefact. Kakashi tried to use it to destroy the demons with his jutsu, for lightning is an anathema to them. It tears them apart, especially when used with the Spirit Jade... but it was not enough," Kado explained quietly. "This is what he gave his life to protect and we failed to help him. It is a barrier between worlds, and if the pieces are united, then the demons controlled by our attackers will become stronger, and destroy this world to introduce theirs. Our enemies are under the spell of those demons, and do not understand what they are doing."

He stared at Iruka solemnly.

"Because you have known such deep loss, Iruka-sensei, I think that when they come for the last remaining jade-shard, they will try to trick you into taking it from me. I ask that you try to be strong."

"Everyone asks that of me," Iruka snapped, hands tight around his flute. "I'm doing the best that I can. That's _all_ I can do, 'be strong'. With Kakashi gone, I don't have anything left."

"You have the children that you teach. You have the one called Naruto. He is... very loud," Kado said diplomatically and Iruka actually smiled wanly, in spite of himself. "The village. Your people. Your love for him." Kado placed the shard of jade back inside his robe, looking at Iruka out of the corner of his eye. "Even though he's gone, you still have that love."

"Until the day I die," Iruka vowed and flushed when Kado smiled indulgently at him. He had never said that to Kakashi.

"Hold onto that." Kado placed his hat atop his head and adjusted the veil. "Hold it close to your heart. Good day, Iruka-sensei."

He let himself out and Iruka sat there for a long time, staring at nothing.

*

Iruka snapped his head around, trying to control his breathing and staring at the end of the street. The early-morning sunlight shone down on the heads of civilians and shinobi alike, and he could have sworn... no, it wasn't possible. Kakashi was dead. He couldn't have seen the Copy-nin ambling lazily from one side of the road to the next.

He had to tell himself that every day, repeating the words until they tolled in his head like a bell, until he believed it.

Or thought he did.

"Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka fixed a calm smile on his face, took a bracing breath and turned to smile at Naruto. There was a pause and Naruto grinned back, all shining teeth and squinty-eyes, and Iruka knew that most of it was for his sake.

"You're coming from the market early!" Naruto grabbed unto half of Iruka's shopping bags and practically danced off in the direction of Iruka's apartment. "You have enough here to make me breakfast?"

"Of course, you brat," Iruka said fondly. No matter how tall and mature Naruto appeared nowadays, he always treated Iruka with that same mixture of love and loyalty. It was actually pretty great for Iruka's ego, to have someone so obviously powerful feel that way about him.

The way Kakashi once did; Iruka couldn't help an almost silent sigh. He could see a flicker of bright blue as Naruto gave him a quick glance from the corner of his eye. He'd forgotten that Naruto had almost preternaturally sharp hearing, when he wanted to.

"So..." Naruto started hesitantly, as they turned onto Iruka's street. "Are... you and Yamato-taicho, uh, dating now?"

"What?" Iruka squawked, stopping short and staring at Naruto, who balanced Iruka's shopping over one arm and rubbed the back of his head self-consciously. How could Naruto even _think_ that? It was true that he and Yamato went out to eat a few times, remembering Kakashi with wry laughter and comfortable silences. He liked Yamato, he was funny and composed, but if Kakashi ever heard that Iruka was even _looking_ in Yamato's direction like that, then he'd be insufferable for about an entire month, teasing Iruka one moment about his cute little _kohai_, being outrageously jealous the next--

Iruka cut off those thoughts abruptly; he was doing it again, thinking about Kakashi as if he was _still here_, even though everyone else had apparently come to terms with the glaring lack of a silver-haired jounin lazing around with a pornographic novel plastered to his masked face. It was simply the reality of life (and the more immediate reality of being a shinobi): tomorrow was not guaranteed.

Iruka, however, observed knock-offs of _Icha Icha_ novels in the bookstore and his first amused thought was _I wonder if Kakashi has seen these_ before his memory caught up with him. Iruka still ate only half a bowl of miso soup with eggplant, because he forgot that Kakashi wasn't around to swoop in and claim the rest of it for himself.

It seemed that he was living months behind everyone else, still caught up in a life he no longer had. Yes, people still nodded at him sadly and tried to be comforting, but... of course, life moved on.

"Sorry," Naruto mumbled now, his shoulders drooping. "I just... I miss him too, honest. He was always super-perverted and sometimes I had _no idea_ what he was talking about, but... I'm sorry."

Iruka looked at the boy's bowed head; even his bright hair looked upset. Naruto was loud and brash, but he was surprisingly empathetic. Naruto had lost too much in his own life; whether he realized it or not, he had an immense capacity of identifying with other people's pain.

It was another thing that Iruka loved about him.

"I just want you to be happy again," Naruto said quietly, his bounce almost completely gone as they arrived in front of Iruka's block. "You know that... right?"

"Of course I know that!" Iruka tried to make his tone as upbeat as he could and it must have worked, because Naruto squinted up at him again, and a smile dawned at the edges of his mouth again. "I know. I'll be fine soon, Naruto, don't worry about me."

Naruto turned and looked right in his face, eyes searching. He nodded decisively and his grin was in full effect once more. "Good! Now come on, I'm hungry!"

Iruka watched him climb the stairs with all the alacrity of a mountain-goat, and wondered when he would be able to believe himself as easily.

*

Iruka waited in the boat; he dreamed about Kakashi every night, the both of them seated in this small wooden vessel, talking idly about a variety of topics. Iruka hated waking up, because that meant a world without Kakashi, but at least he had his dreams.

It probably wasn't healthy to be dreaming like this, but Iruka wasn't about to give it up.

"Is it just me or is the mist looking dark over there?" Kakashi drawled from behind him suddenly, hooking his chin over Iruka's shoulder. Iruka reached up, smiling as he ruffled Kakashi's hair.

"It does look dark, yes." The mist in front of them seemed murky, as if someone had poured ink into that particular section. The fog churned violently and their boat rocked as the wind picked up, howling above their heads. Iruka turned and pressed his face into the curve of Kakashi's neck, inhaling deeply.

"Should I move on?" he asked plaintively. "You've been gone for so long and everyone wants me to be happy again, and even though I smile, it doesn't feel right. You're supposed to be here. I don't know why I feel so strongly about that... but I do. I even miss the damned dogs when you call for them. They must be lonely, those brats. I wish I knew how to summon them, sometimes."

Kakashi chuckled, then place his arm around Iruka's shoulders and hugged him even closer.

"Do you trust me, Iruka?"

"Yes," he said immediately and then smiled as Kakashi made a mock sound of surprise. "Alright, alright. I trust you when it matters."

"That's good, sensei. Then listen." He put his mouth right to Iruka's ear and whispered. Iruka listened carefully, frowning a little now and again. "Got that?"

Iruka nodded, not moving his face from Kakashi's neck. He was so warm and he smelled _so good_.

"Alright. I won't say 'be strong' because I know you already are. I've always thought that, Iruka. Watch, the mist is getting darker."

Iruka peeped out and their entire surroundings were made of dark grey clouds, instead of that the previous white mist.

"Remember what I said," Kakashi whispered and the bellicose wind shrieked around them; below the sound of that, however, Iruka thought he could hear the faint call of a flute. "I know you can do it. Wake up, Iruka."

*

Iruka opened his eyes slowly. It was still very dark in his apartment and very quiet. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to hold onto the wisps of his dream. It was very hazy, and he wrinkled his brow. Kakashi had told him some very specific instructions in the dream.

He was pondering these directives when it seemed that, at the very edge of his vision, he saw a shadow shift in the corner of his room; his brow furrowed as he turned his head.

The shadow detached itself from the wall and floated over to his futon with a frightening speed.

Iruka sat up and flung the kunai that had been under his pillow; it passed right through the advancing shadow and hit the wall with a quivering thunk.

"Umino.... Iruka," the shadow hissed at him and Iruka flung himself off the bed and raced towards the doorway. A cold tentacle wrapped around his ankle, dragging him and slamming him against the wall. Iruka stifled a cry of pain and tried to pull his leg away from the chilly grip, but he was lifted and slammed again, then allowed to slide down and collapse on the floor.

"Iruka." The voice of the shadow shattered and multiplied even as the dark shape split into a legion, surrounding him. "How we've felt your pain, your loss. Even from as far away as the Country of the Demons, we have heard your lonely song."

Iruka fought, lashing out grimly at shapes hovering near him, but they still came closer.

"Do you want him back?" The shadows whispered, echoing in his room and his mind. Iruka froze. "Of course you do. The Spirit Jade is powerful, the door between life and death. If you get that last piece, we can bring him back for you."

"The... last piece?" Iruka strangled out, feeling the chill from the demons bloom in his chest.

"Yes. We have gathered nearly all the parts together. All we need is that one which is kept by the Priest Kado. We can bring him back for you. We can do that." Their voices reverberated around him in soft, slithering whispers, which made his skin crawl.

Iruka bent his head, one hand pressed against his bruised side; it hurt to breathe but his mind was caught up in one persistent thought: these demons... they could bring him back?

"Look," the demons instructed quietly and a green shape materialised in front of Iruka's nose. "The Spirit Jade. It will bring him back. Don't you want him back?"

"Yes," Iruka whispered and reached out to stroke the milky-green surface of the stone with one trembling finger. "Yes, so much." He breathed out shakily. "Give me the stone and... and I'll get the last piece. I'll put them together."

The jade-stone dropped into his outstretched palm and Iruka clutched it close to himself.

"And you'll bring him back?"

"Of course," the demons promised smoothly. "Go quickly and we shall follow. The priest can sense us, as we can sense him, if we come too close. But we shall wait."

Iruka leapt from roof to roof, the stone held tightly in one hand. He could see the old temple that Kado had asked for his own use. He landed right in front of the entrance, with its elaborately carved protector-lions.

Instead of sneaking in, as most people would expect, Iruka knocked on the front door.

"Yes? Oh, Iruka-sensei, it is quite late for a visit," the priest said when he pulled open the door and blinked owlishly out at Iruka. "Is there something I can--"

Iruka darted in, grabbing the priest by the throat and throwing him to the floor. Kado landed with a pained grunt and tried to roll away, but Iruka was upon him, practically kneeling on his chest. Desperation, hope and fear had made him quicker than normal.

"No, don't!" Kado cried as Iruka grabbed at the cord around his neck, ripping out the shard, which twisted in his grip, wanting to get to the rest of the Spirit Jade but Iruka held on for just a moment and hoped he wasn't going crazy.

But he had told Kakashi that he _did_ trust him... and Iruka would do as he had asked, even if it was just in a dream. He released the quivering shard and it snapped neatly to its missing groove in the Spirit Jade; the entire stone began to glow brilliantly, waves of green light washing over the walls of the temple. An unearthly, triumphant screech rose from the demons outside.

"_Kai_!" he shrieked, pressing his palm against Kado's chest, pushing his chakra into the flailing body of the priest. His chakra collided with a strange knot and pulled it apart... freeing the trapped chakra and memories of a priest who wasn't a priest at all, according to dream-Kakashi.

Kado arched violently, almost throwing Iruka off. Iruka grabbed him by the front of his robes.

"Take it!" Iruka bellowed in his face, the face that was changing right in front of him, hair rippling from dark waves to a spiky grey. He thrust the Spirit Jade into the shaking hands of a man he had never believed was dead in the first place, not way down in his heart. "Take it, Kakashi, they're right outside, they're coming. Do it now!"

The walls were being torn apart by incredulously enraged demons.

"_Raikiri!_" Kakashi commanded harshly and lightning crackled in his palms. The Spirit Jade caught the blue blades of light, increasing and thundering it all around them. Iruka flung himself to the floor, covering his head with his arms.

There was a strange silence... and then a deafening series of explosions as the temple collapsed around them.

*

Sakura was fussing over Iruka as he woke up to the smells of the hospital assailing his nose.

_Not here again,_ he thought absently, and sighed.

"Maa, what a tired sound!" A familiar voice exclaimed teasingly to his right and Iruka sat up so quickly, his vision wavered.

"No, don't do that!" Sakura scolded. "Iruka-sensei, you sustained a few injuries to your head, do you know what I had to do to balance your chakra there again? Not to mention you--"

Iruka tuned her out, staring at Kakashi's sheepish grin, the material of his familiar mask stretched over that wide, uncertain smile. It was almost funny how Iruka could read his smiles, even underneath the underneath.

"Sakura-chan," Iruka said, ignoring Sakura's frown at the diminutive that neither Iruka nor anyone else had used in a long time. "I'd like to talk to Kakashi alone, please."

Sakura looked at Kakashi, her gaze extremely happy as it landed on the silver-haired jounin. Then she nodded decisively and left them.

"Kakashi, how--"

"Kado used a technique called the Shadow Mirror Shapeshift," Kakashi said, lounging in the visitor's chair, fingers twitching restlessly as he related in a flat tone; he must have made his report to the Hokage already. Iruka looked at his fingers, his face, drinking in the sight of him; he couldn't help himself. "The technique is irreversible, in which Kado took on my form exactly. He was a diversion. Our plan to destroy the demons failed at the first attempt, because I only used a small part of it; we needed the entire stone, but... we had to make other plans."

"But why were you disguised as that priest? _Acting_ like him?"

"It was just a part of the whole strategy. Kado would die in my place and all my memories and chakra would be suppressed, while I returned to Konoha as him."

Iruka stared, his brain ticking over quickly. "Because you knew the demons would pursue you with the rest of the Spirit Jade, to get that last piece."

"Yes. If they knew it was me under that illusion, they would not follow so easily. But with Hatake Kakashi 'dead'," Kakashi smiled mirthlessly, "then they would have no fear of a Raikiri amplified by the Spirit Jade."

"And... you knew they would come to me, because I... because of how I would react to your death."

Kakashi shrugged, but his single-eyed gaze flickered away from Iruka's wide eyes. "They are attracted to loss and pain. It was inevitable that out of everyone in Konoha, you would be the most affected. I told you this, as Kado. I asked you to trust me."

"That doesn't change the fact that you used me, just like those demons did," Iruka bit out and Kakashi's eye snapped back to meet his, wide and apologetic. "You _used_ me and pretended to be _dead_ and you don't even know _what it was like_, not having you here, you stupid--"

Kakashi was kneeling on the bed in a moment, his arms wrapped around Iruka's shoulders. He didn't ask for forgiveness outright, because it was a part of his mission, that amazingly convoluted plan (because 'convoluted' was sometimes the only way Kakashi could operate), but he breathed his apologies against Iruka's neck, kissing Iruka's cheeks, stroking his hair away from his forehead.

Iruka held onto his arms and thought he would never be able to let go, never again.

"Hey, Iruka," Kakashi said quietly an hour or so later, after he had bullied his way onto Iruka's hospital-bed, completely disregarding Sakura's scandalized complaints. They had been discussing their plans to pay their respects to Kado, and had fallen silent for a little while, before Kakashi spoke up again. "Do you know how I managed to reach into your dreams?"

"How?" Iruka's voice was heavy with slumber.

"I thought about the sound of your flute," Kakashi told him.

"Oh." Iruka was almost all the way asleep.

"I followed the sound, Iruka," Kakashi's voice spiralled down with him into peaceful rest. "It led me home to you."

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> ** Beta:** The incredible [](http://avocado-love.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://avocado-love.livejournal.com/)**avocado_love**.
> 
> Some info taken from the first Shippuden movie; I wrote this while listening to some _shakuhachi_ pieces; the one that influences the title (and the story) is called [**Mukaiji Reibo**](http://www.komuso.com/pieces/Mukaiji_Reibo.html); the songs I listened to, if you're interested, are on [**this youtube playlist**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4DV2wMXxKs&feature=PlayList&p=9C84088BB9BA67A6&index=0&playnext=1).
> 
> Fanart done by [](http://beasiesgal.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://beasiesgal.livejournal.com/)**beasiesgal**. I love it!  
> **ETA:** Fanart removed at source by artist.


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